today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
"What were you wearing?"
I wore a red dress to work today. It has a zipper at either side of my chest that can unzip and reveal a thin strip of skin. A coworker, without warning, tried pulling at the zipper and when it wouldn’t zip, instead revealed a good portion of my collarbone and shoulder as well as my bra strap. An hour later, the same coworker came up and told me to not wear clothes with zippers because he’ll go right ahead and unzip them. I shot back that unzipping me without my permission is sexual harassment. Apparently a manager heard and berated my coworker. At the end of my shift, my coworker told me that my little comment got him in trouble and that he no longer feels comfortable saying anything to me other than “hello” and “goodbye.”
I am supposed to feel guilty for pointing out that he can’t lay his fucking hands on me.
Punch him in the neck next time and tell him “don’t show your neck around me or I’ll just go right ahead and keep punching you there.”
when i was younger i had a really bad fear of vampires when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse the vampires and they would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon
Your brother is the best
The Unbelievable Photos Taken by the Crazy Russians Who Illegally Climbed Egypt’s Great Pyramid
people, you may never see an image like this again… so yeah, reblog it
i have actually stood at the base of this pyramid, but never climbed.
wish i had!
Uh, listen, don’t try to climb the pyramids
Right now you’d almost certainly get shot for it
Actually on second thought, don’t even go to Egypt for a while probably
also please take note if you are a movie producer
see that bit of weird smooth surface on the tip of one pyramid?
yeah that’s all that’s left of the blindingly polished WHITE LIMESTONE CASING that covered ALL THE FUCKING BIG PYRAMIDS in their day
so if you’re going to (THE MUMMY) make a movie (THE MUMMY RETURNS) featuring (THE SCORPION KING) the pyramids, in an era where they were actually freshly built and hadn’t been scavenged, DON’T MAKE THEM GREAT BIG DUSTY SANDSTONE HEAPS, THEY WERE LIKE THE LUXOR IN VEGAS ONLY SHINY WHITE AND WITHOUT THE BIG SEARCHLIGHT ON TOP
ONLY I BET IF THEY HAD THE WHEREWITHAL KHUFU ET AL WOULD TOTES HAVE HAD HUGE SEARCHLIGHTS ON TOP OF THEIR PYRAMIDS
what if everyone in the world could manipulate one crab. and it was their soul crab and like if we sycnhronized our thoughts our crabs could work together as an army and overthrow evil governments but you could also use your crab for evil like to snip someone
it would be an interesting view into the hearts of humans, these soul crabs
It’s 2AM somewhere
crabs have no concept of time. only creation and destruction
half the time i’m like “im an independent and strong person whose self esteem would never hinge on whether or not dudes pay attention to her. i don’t need anybody to complete me” and the other half of the time i’m sobbing into a bag of cheetoes and listening to hellogoodbye’s “here in your arms” on repeat until i pass out in a pile of my own cheeto dust